posted by Monica Benderman in TheWar.

Good Morning -

There is a film documentary crew here - making a film about conscientious objection, and following the events of this week. It is interesting — and it is helping us to think.

Yesterday we spent the day in Savannah, and spent a lot of time at a “civil war” (we prefer War Between the States) fort. The damage from the war is evident on the outside of the fort - and the setting is thought -provoking. Cannons showing from the top of the fort, mortar damage on the outside, and a pristine country-side looking out to the Atlantic ocean with egrets in the trees basking in the sun and swallows chasing bugs over the grasslands that were the point of approach for the Union soldiers.

One of the questions we tried to answer was “What is it about southern men that makes them feel such a strong sense of duty?” For us — the duty of defending one’s home comes from having learned the lessons of losing something that was of value - and having to fight to regain it. Once something that is so significant is lost - people either roll over and collapse, or they take a stand to regain it and to keep from losing it again - and they fight hard - because they know the value of what they fight for. They learned the hard way.

After the filming - we went to a little Irish pub for some dinner. Sitting there talking we asked the same questions again. Looking around the bar- were so many - 25 men - just sitting, not talking - staring at their hands, the wall, their glass, with blind eyes. Somewhere inside each one there is a person - but they don’t seem to fight for that person any more - what they lost, they don’t know how to get back. I think it’s because they never learned the value of what they had, and they don’t know the value of fighting for it.

The Iraqi people have had to fight for everything they have - for all of their lives. They have lived with having to fight to keep the very little that is theirs - and the very most, their dignity and their honor - they refused to give to anyone. Even those Saddam had killed - they died fighting for what they knew to be important to them - they wouldn’t let him take it. I honestly believe that makes them stronger. The Iraqi people understand what they have - and what it is worth.

Somehow - we have to wake up the men and women sitting staring blindly at their glass.

Into a bar like that once, a friend and I brought a small camera and a notepad. I approached one person and asked if I could have my picture taken with him. Then, after he had said yes, my friend snapped the pic - and we asked him to tell us a story about himself to go with the picture. At first he said he had no stories - he was not important - but when we started telling him about something that had happened to us that day, he remembered and began talking. We proceeded to do this around the bar, until we had a picture and a story from everyone. The stories were simple, and probably wouldn’t make today’s “reality tv” show lineups. But they were the stories of these people, and for some reason, just watching us put them on paper made these people realize that there must be some significance. We took all of their email addresses and re-typed their story and returned it to them with a copy of their picture. Of the 37 people we talked to, 32 of them responded with more stories. We returned to that little “biker bar” once a month for about 6 months. It was amazing how they got started talking.

I don’t think we have to give people so much external talk to make things happen - I think it’s good for them to hear it, and important that it continues - but I don’t think that is what is going to make the changes.

In my opinion - I think it will just take letting people know that they have something worth fighting for — giving them a chance to tell their story - and remember the value of who they are. Once they remember - the rest will be easy.